Rusty Campbell - drums & vocals

Although he studied classical castanets at Julliard, Rusty knew it was just a matter of time before he would be drawn to the big percussion kit – yeah, the drums baby. He soon formed a garage band with some friends and spent his evenings playing club gigs for cover charge with an obscure band called the “The Allman Brothers” until he got in a mic fight with his buddy Duane and quit in the middle of a club gig. “They were a bunch of losers anyway who wanted an extra drummer because they were jealous of my skills and figured I’d move on,” said Rusty, “I knew they weren’t going anywhere.”

After a brief gig as the lead singer for a Village People tribute band, Rusty went to work selling appliance insurance at a telemarketing company in Chicago. He wasn’t the best telemarketer but he was able to supplement his meager income with his Notary Public License and a willingness to dance naked for older housewives at Tupperware parties. It was at one of these parties that he met a Mrs. Mason, who greatly enjoyed his dancing skills, but more importantly introduced him to her son Matthew who was also a bit of a ner-do-well.

“Initially Mrs. Mason wanted me to get Matthew involved in the Tupperware gig,” explained Rusty, “but we had a much, much bigger vision.”

Matthew Mason AKA Larry “Larry the Cable Guy” Mason - bass & vocals

Still living in his parents basement at age 32, and having just finished his GED studies, Matthew was open to any new ideas or ventures that might involve getting out more, losing his viginity, and perhaps maybe even getting his own apartment. After their first meeting, Rusty quickly convinced Matthew to buy a bass guitar and select a more appropriate rocker name so they could form a band. “We finally decided the bass would be the instrument for me,” recalled Larry. “I mean, hell, it only has four strings – how hard can it be? The name change was super easy,” Larry continued, “I mean I just wanted the most bitchin’ rocker name ever and Larry was so obvious.”

Rusty and Larry practiced like crazy and soon had a swinging sound that was much in demand during the Devo era of rock. “A lot of old timers still had 5 or 6 people in their bands, but we just really concentrated on a simple backbeat and percussion presentation, plus we couldn’t afford to pay anyone else,” said Larry, “The club kids just ate it up – of course back then they ate up a lot of things that helped to increase their enjoyment of our music.”

One night at an Armory gig in Rockford, Illinois the boys ran into a real crazy cat who approached them after their gig. “I’ll never forget it,” said Larry, “we don’t even know this guy and he comes up to us and says, ‘Man you guys really suck, I mean this is the stupidest band I’ve ever seen. Did you guys ride the short bus to school?’ So we just laughed and said, like wow man, that’s really harsh. I mean really, how can you be so positive we’re the stupidest band ever, like, have you seen them all man?” “That response really seemed to slow him down,” added Rusty.

Dave Ohl -Guitar &vocals

Dave was born in Paw Paw, West Virginia to Uran S. and Harry S. Ohl. At 23, he quit the tenth grade and ran away with the circus to star as Vilo, the world's tallest midget. While appearing at a Chuck E.Cheese in central Illinois, he heard a bone chilling sound coming from the Armory that would change his life forever. He thought "these guys suck…with mom's old banjo and a couple extra strings, I could do that!" The guys had never seen a 6' midget and knew this was just the thing that could get the band noticed. So the group grew and did their first gig together at the Hi-Lo Drive-In Theater in Kankakee that summer.

Dave Rinebolt - keyboards and vocals

The son of a peg-legged prostitute and Dionysus, Greek god of wine, Dave ("DC") grew up in the mean streets of middle-class northern Jersey. After spending his first 18 years entangling himself with the Mafia and learning every poop joke known to man, he came to Ohio to learn piano and song writing. DC's musical meanderings have covered such subject matter as communism, unicycles, poop, academia, zombies, Borneo, porno, alcoholism, poop, religion, the legal system, mass media, porno, poop, and much more.

Through blackmail, bribes, and sexual favors from his Aunt Beulah, he eventually assumed the position of keyboard player. DC marveled the boys in the band at his first audition by proving that no matter how talentless they were, he could still manage to make them sound worse. If there is one thing we can learn from DC, it is that even if one is old, unattractive & tone-deaf, he can still be a rock star. At least when he's awake.